On Being Goal Directed (or Not)

Last night I had a conversation with a friend on being goal-directed, or not. He thinks that both of us are not, and that one needs to be, in order to accomplish things in life and make a difference to the world. Earlier in the day, I was reading in another friend's blog about life-goals and deadlines, realizing that I never seriously set myself any, except perhaps to write a novel by the time I was 30 (which I did not do, and I can't say I feel too bad about it). I was surprised that other people set goals for life events, like getting married, having children, completing a doctorate, owning a home. Those things just happened, like sickness, deaths, other losses - but instead in a positive way. I definitely seem to have a more passive approach to life than most people in this society.

I had a conversation with my best friend a long time ago, before he was my best friend, about how goals just make you unhappy, and unable to appreciate the blessings of the present moment. He pointed out that as a species we evolved to set goals that we could attain the same day, like hiking up a mountain that we can see in the distance, whereas we live lives with the expectation of long-term goals. He feels happy after riding his bike or hiking to the top of a mountain, something we have done together numerous times since that conversation. One time, there was another person up there. We said hi. The other person was surprised that once we arrived we spent so little time at the top, but for both my friend and I it was more the getting there, the momentary glimpse of the view and the feeling of having reached the top, without any lingering desire to stay.

Perhaps there is more to it than that. Some months ago we read Elaine Scarry's book On Beauty for the philosophy group. I struggled with it, because in my mind there is a conflict between reverence for beauty and for duty, as expressed in these lines by Dante Alighieri:

"Beauty and Duty in my soul keep strife
At question if the heart such course can take
And 'twixt the two ladies hold its love complete.
The fount of gentle speech yields answer meet
That Beauty may be loved for gladness sake
And Duty in the lofty ends of life."

We climb up mountains for the sake of beauty. But reading On Beauty made me realize for the first time that perhaps duty can involve having a vision of a more beautiful world, which itself requires appreciating and being inspired by beauty.

Maybe it seems contrary that I am motivated by a strong sense of duty but lack goals. I stumble upon things that demand my attention, like another person's need or how interesting pain is, and what can be done about it. Probably I would get further if I knew where I was going. If I had some vision and followed resolutely in its pursuit I might have a greater impact on the world and others. But I don't feel as though I'm flailing, just bending down to smell the wild roses and pet the stray cats.

When we look at the trail maps before starting a journey we seek out the loops.