Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I know I need to sleep

I know I need to sleep because I feel I might be coming down with a cold, but I can't. I tried, and my mind filled with thoughts about upcoming social events, making up stories about the people around me. Not sad or anxious thoughts, but somehow I didn't feel tired any longer. I don't even feel hungry or needing sex or physical comfort, just wide awake. My mind trips to the hum of the traffic on the freeway, wondering what it might be like to be going on a journey right now. Where would I be heading, and what would I be leaving? I hear the Amtrak train blow its horn and think about train hopping. Maybe I should start counting sheep. Perhaps there are sheep on the train, going to slaughter. Not a good thought. The past and the future are both very present on trains, and the ability of one thing to stand for another. Me, sheep, sleep. I think about praying, remembering the prayer for leaving my soul in the hands of god when I sleep. Sleep like a little death that sustains us and keeps us alive a little longer. Night trains bearing unloved little elephants on their way to the circus.

Earlier I played on the stepping stones in the park, and noticed for the first time the inscription: Be the change you want to see in the world. But how would I know what will be the results of my actions? I must take some pictures of the my free yoga class in the park. It seemed on the face of it pretty good today. I feel inspired to try a new movement exercise next time, and have students pair up and take turns mirroring each other. I did that at the dance Friday, as is my habit, and somebody said to me felt good. Nobody had said that before and I hadn't thought about it. As a matter of fact, earlier I had mirrored someone because she looked sad and lonely, as though she wanted a dance partner, and she smiled and got really happy.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friends are wonderful

This week I feel so grateful for my friends. On Sunday I was feeling a little lonely and discombobulated, and I felt like opening a bottle of wine so I called my friend and he came and joined me for dinner. We had a great discussion with my son about not sure what, and then my friend and I exchanged relaxing foot massages.

Later in the week I got caught on the far side of the Bay Bridge, having driven around the snapped cable on the way over to the city. Foolishly, I tried to drive back across the same bridge and ended up sitting in traffic for about an hour before being turned around. Friends were making a gourmet dinner using their new wedding gifts, and invited me to join them. We cooked scrumptious butternut squash soup with real nuts in it, duck in pomegranate sauce and brussels sprouts with truffle oil. I must get some truffle oil for the kitchen!

Then today a friend chatted with me on facebook and invited me to a moonlit hike tomorrow night. I hope that pans out! I would love to splash in the ocean at sunset, warm up in the pub with him, and then hike over the cliffs by the moonlight. I hope he picks me up on his motorcycle. That would be so cool...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

You Are a Pool

You are a pool
I step into the water
not knowing
if it will be deep or shallow
warm or cold
if I will drown or float.

I step into the pool again
regardless
hoping to warm all this water
with my heart's faint glow

wondering if I will remember
how to swim
or if I ever learned.

And peace falls down on us
like snow.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Poem for Joy

I wanted to write a poem for joy
That would conteract all the sadness in the world
A poem that dances from the page
Filled with wild mountains to climb
Blue sky, birdsong
Sunlight playing in the water
Between the tall trees
A poem filled with possibilities
Friendly upturned faces
Hands welcoming you to join the dance

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

From Albany Hill

Below, the jointed buses glide by
Like matchbox cars, the whir of their wheels
Subsumed in the general hum of traffic
Over passed only by the occasional BART train
Or the horn of an Amtrak train on the bay side

Eucalyptus leaves frame the view
Their vertical strokes a perpetual reminder
Of the inevitability of tears

I patiently await my turn on the rope swing
Overlooking the fog-enfolded Golden Gate Bridge
As the distant campanile keeps time
Too far away to see with the naked eye

But I know I can always come back
Another day

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Objective Reality 2

So, during the discussion at the philosophy group yesterday, I revised my intersubjective view of objectivity in favor of the following: objective reality is that thing which human knowledge aspires to. Whether it exists or not is another question...

Monday, July 6, 2009

Is There an Objective Reality?

Thoughts for philosophy group tomorrow.

What is real? We think we know, can sense it. Plato (Republic) disputed this in his allegory of the cave. Socrates asks his student, Glaucon, to imagine prisoners in a cave forced to look only at the shadows cast on the wall of people, animals and other figures walking by in front of the fire. The prisoners think they know what they are looking at, this is their reality, until one prisoner is set free. He cannot immediately recognize the things that cast the shadows for what they are, although they are more 'real' according to this allegory. Once given time to acclimate to the sun outside, the prisoner loses his facility with recognizing the shadows and begins to appreciate his freedom. Socrates argues that intelligence and reason provide access to an ultimate truth of ideal forms, besides which the reality of our senses pales like the shadows on the cave wall.

As a culture, we are still obsessed with this anxiety over what exists, or what is real, cf. The Matrix.

Aristotle disagreed with Plato, and held that there is no such hidden world of ideal forms, only the sensate world and the world of real human constructs, such as the law.

Kant pointed out the problem is that we are limited by our senses and intuitions. There may be qualities of an object, the thing in itself, which we are unable to sense or know. Bishop Berkeley argued that the world of our senses is no more real than the world of our imaginations, except that we can exercise our will on the world of the imagination, whereas the real world is governed by the will of God. [As an aside, Berkeley used an apple as his first example of a real object. Food for thought - the apple of God's mind's eye]. Hegel said very little with a lot of words, culminating in a predilection for everything to come in threes, in this instance 'being' (aka existence), 'ideas', and 'nature', where nature is the synthesis of the external and internal worlds when they correspond.

So there are a number of possible scenarios here. 1) Reality is not what we think it is, but the privileged few get to see it by virtue of their superior education, reason, or fortune - the freed prisoner in Plato's cave, Neo in The Matrix. 2) Reality may be different from what we think, but we are limited by our senses and will never know for sure, in spite of our desire to know (Kant). 3) Reality is more-or-less what we see and think (Aristotle). 4) Reality is the realm in which the will of God is exercised, instead of our own will. In other words, reality defeats us (Berkeley). 5) Reality is the intersection between what exists and our ideas of it (Hegel).

Incidentally, Berkeley's view was preempted in the creation hymn from the Rigveda (c. 1500-1000 BC): "Whence this creation has come into being; whether it was made or not; he in the highest heaven is its surveyor. Surely he knows, or perhaps he knows not."
Which brings us by a leap of faith to Nietzsche's method of genealogy, looking at the origins of ideas as a battleground rather than a building site, and postmodernism with its notions of reality by consensus or intersubjectivity.

What is the problem? I think it is this. We commonly encounter both agreement and disagreement about the real objects of the world. Where the objects are more abstract (God, money, politics, love) there are both more disagreements and stronger feelings. People on the whole don't feel very strongly about, say, apples. We need a theory of reality or existence that can contain both agreement and disagreement, but we are ill equipped to imagine topologically beings walking around with worlds in their heads, of which some parts are shared and some parts private. So we fall down the rabbithole of metaphorical collapse, insisting one way or the other (subjective or objective) and justifying our position by flagwaving on the totem poles of realism and relativism.

Maybe there is some bigger picture where the music and the dance synchronize together, like in a movie? Ah forget it, I'm just trying to be Hegelian.

I think we must concede the question is unanswerable.

Speaking of which, I just discovered the word epistemocracy today. It means a Utopian society governed by rulers with epistemic humility, meaning they know (and acknowledge) what they don't know. Supposedly coined by Nassim Taleb in his 2007 book The Black Swan, it is spreading throughout the blogosphere perhaps thanks to the fact that Google's blogger recognizes it (and coincidentally not the word blogosphere itself) as a correct spelling.

Why does the internet impose itself so unquestionably on our reality, like an apple and not like a God?